Emotional landmines

Updated on: Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Anger is an emotion that happens when an individual's emotional equilibrium is disturbed by external or internal factors. These can be trigger factors or predisposing factors. The trigger factors happen just before the angry outburst. Trigger factors may range from trivial triggers like someone cutting into traffic or major provocative factors.

Triggers

Predisposing factors make a person vulnerable to anger at the slightest provocation. There are many predisposing factors responsible for anger and violence among college students. Let us examine some of them.

Disenchantment with the system: Many college students have their first exposure to value systems that are very different from what they have been taught throughout their childhood. They come face to face with corruption and unfairness in the education system. Shocked, they turn to their parents, who tell them, “That is the way things are. We need to accept it”

Victimisation and partiality: Some teachers pick on certain students and victimise them for anything that happens in the class. Each act of victimisation makes the student angry and when the threshold for tolerance is crossed, the student may react violently.

Being partial to certain students, extending academic and other favours to them and condoning their mistakes makes other students resentful.

Bullying: Many incidents of college violence have been by victims of bullying, as an act of revenge, when the bullying was persistent and repetitive.

Lack of confiding relationship: A confiding relationship has to be nurtured by parents since childhood, by actively listening to the children when they rattle off the day's events at school. Many parents do not spend time with children, citing lack of time. If a confiding relationship is not established during childhood, it is very difficult to resurrect it during adolescence or later.

Depression: It can often manifest as irritability, cynicism or anger outbursts. Only the externalised aggressive behaviour is noticed by others and the underlying sadness is not recognised.

Poor coping skills: When confronted with stress, the student should be able to cope with it effectively. Poor coping skills lead to frustration.

Poor self esteem: This has been one consistent factor associated with any problem researched in youngsters, like depression, substance abuse, suicide, violence or poor performance.

Exposure to violence in media: It is well known that exposure to violence on TV and movies can desensitise youngsters and predispose them to violence. In recent times, many youngsters are influenced by online role playing games. These games involve developing weapons, forming clans and attacking others violently. One college student narrated how he emulated some of his online behaviour in the real world.

Prevention of violence

Addressing the predisposing factors is much more important than blaming the triggering factor alone.

Coping skills: Students can be trained in coping skills as part of the curriculum. In addition to formal training, participation in sports imparts the art of coping.

A team prepared well for two months for a basketball tournament and were very confident of winning the cup. They get beaten in the semi-final. Though crestfallen initially, they look forward to the next tournament and start preparing again. The most important contribution of sports is the opportunity it provides to cope with failure.

Conflict resolution skills: Conflicts can be resolved by negotiation and mediation. These skills can be taught.

Anger management skills: Anger per se is not a bad thing. Anger can be a normal emotional response to an abnormal event or situation. What matters is how the anger is expressed or channelised? Anger generates a tremendous amount of energy. This energy can be channelised into constructive action.

At an individual level, awareness of being angry is the first step in managing anger. The student should try and avoid an impulsive action. If the reactive action is postponed for a few moments or minutes, it would be sufficient for rational thought and problem solving to take over.

One way to let off steam, while angry, is to write about whatever is frustrating them.

If they are angry with a particular person, they can write down whatever they want to say to that person. Later, they can look at what they had written. If it is very harsh, they have the option of shredding the paper. Or they can rewrite it, keeping the points intact but mellowing the tone down. Once they can practise it on paper, they would be able to do it in speech too.

If a social issue is frustrating the youngster, he/she can write a letter or an article to a newspaper and highlight the issue. This way the anger is channelised into constructive action.

Self esteem: For developing self esteem, the student needs excellence in one area (not restricted to academics alone) and one significant adult to trust in him/her. Parents and teachers should act as catalysts to improve their self esteem, rather than undermine it by passing derogatory comments.

Unconditional positive regard: If parents and teachers can show positive regard to the youngsters irrespective of their academic and other achievements, they can help the youngsters bloom into fine young men and women, capable of coping with the quirks of life.

Emotional landmines

More Education news