Updated on: Saturday, August 22, 2009
If your child comes home from school complaining that he doesn't understand a particular lesson, you may need to offer a few pointers.
But there is a fine line between a parent who jumps-in and takes control of the entire learning assignment and one who remains on the sidelines but offers encouragement, guidance, or support.
1. Discuss the lesson with your child. Ask him or her to explain what needs to be done. Then ask which parts are not clear. If necessary, read over the instructions and paraphrase them to your son or daughter. Then try to answer any questions that still remain about what needs to be done. It is always a good idea to let kids do as much on their own as possible, because that prepares them for real-life situations when similar uncertainties will arise, sometimes while working on a deadline.
2. Stay close by but uninvolved. Your presence alone may reassure a child that you are available if needed. But it also may encouragement him or her to work alone to show that he can master the material or she is independent enough to figure out the guidelines for herself. Look in on your child periodically to be sure that he stays focused or doesn't get distracted. Adjust lighting as the evening wears on and perhaps consider offering a healthy snack that won't interfere with dinner.
3. Help with major study projects. For example, you can work with your son to learn basic math facts or your daughter's preparation for the spelling bee. Help her pick out supplies for an upcoming art project or guide him through instructions for a science experiment. But provide plenty of time and space for your kids to remain responsible for their own work.
4. Assist with organizational tasks. Scheduling study time, arranging social plans around homework activities, and providing quiet home space for things to get done teaches a child how to make these decisions in conjunction with a long-term commitment like homework. Kids need to realize at an early age that homework just doesn't get done automatically. They need to collect supplies, understand the guidelines, and make time to do the work. Parents can help to facilitate these coordinating tasks without taking charge of the entire process.
5. Don't let them give up or take shortcuts. When your child begs to watch another half-hour of television or keep playing outside instead of doing homework, you have to be firm in teaching him to balance playtime with homework. While some outside play is a good idea to promote exposure to fresh air and exercise, it is also important to instill respect for completing homework accurately and on time. Likewise, don't allow your children to cheat by copying another student's homework or looking up answers on the Internet that they are supposed to learn for themselves. Remember to set a good example in your own life, as well.
Homework may not seem like a big deal to many adults, but completing these frequent school-related tasks is a major step toward maturity for young students. Become your child's supporter and guide as she learns how to handle this task effectively.